Carl sat on the cement bench outside the ancient administration office and enjoyed his roast beef sandwich. High above, in the nooks and crannies of the limestone building, the unblinking statues of once-great orators and philosophers passed silent judgment. Carl eyed them with growing envy. They’re so lucky that they don’t have to deal with all the bs that goes on down here in the real world. Carl wiped the last bit of mayonnaise from the corner of his mouth and laughed as a crow landed on a statue. I was wrong. Even they have to deal with shit sometimes.